When I get really unhappy and frustrated, and feel like I’m drowning, I feel this intense need to change my appearance. It’s like…my ultimate self-care.
I already cut and bleached my hair, but since I’ve done that so many times, it wasn’t enough. I paint my nails weekly (and sometimes daily), so that isn’t helping. I don’t need any more piercings (although, I am still considering my nipples).
I would absolutely love another tattoo, but after paying my dad and Marshall back for the loans, and saving $1500 for rent, I will only havre $500 left. And I can’t blow it all on a tattoo.
I desperately need to lose weight, but that isn’t an instant thing. That takes time, and I can’t see results right away.
I don’t know what to do. I feel kind of ugly. I also feel kind of stupid/unintelligent.
Right now, it feels like I can’t do anything right. I’m starting to get panicky.