Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

I’m so fucking bored. There is only so much studying I can do for a 2 chapter exam in a class that I’m so interested in that I almost didn’t even need to take any notes for.

I wish tomorrow wasn’t a holiday. I just want to go back to school. Right now it’s the one thing that’s been keeping me from sinking into any deep depressions.

Every time I start drifting off, my sleep apnea kicks in. It’s like my throat is closing up…like someone is squeezing my lungs. And because I’m so tired, when I wake up due to lack of oxygen, I feel very disoriented, like I don’t know where I am. I’m surprised I’m not gasping and having panic attacks every few minutes. It scares me sleeping alone when my sleep apnea is fucking with me like this. It’s not the waking up oxygen deprived part that scares me…it’s that as I’m waking up, I still can’t breathe. I imagine it’s similar to what drowning feels like. You open your mouth to take in a gulp of air…and nothing happens. You can’t breathe at all.

Trying to hurry up and finish this turkey so I can go ahead and start my vegetarian “diet” for real. I haven’t bought any meat (Ok, so technically I’m a pescetarian because I eat fish occasionally. I now I shouldn’t) in a week, but I don’t want the meat I already have to go to waste. I need to go ahead and apply for food stamps again AND hope that I can find another job soon.

At any rate, my sandwich is still quite good: turkey, mayo, guacamole, spinach, and american cheese on a tortilla. Wish I had fresh onions and tomatoes, though.

I have paid my dues and am now a member of NOW at UCF!

Constantly reminded that I don’t belong anywhere.

I would much rather have classes every day than work on the weekends.

I know I need to make money, but I like learning so much more.

My room mate texted me and said she hadn’t signed the pet addendum yet because she wanted to talk to me about it beforehand. I really cannot handle any more shit happening to me right now…especially at that fucking complex.

AHHHHHH OH MY GOD, CLASSES START TODAY!!! (also something else this morning I’m excited about ^_^)